Alone.

Humiliated.

Deceived.

Ignored.

These seem to be the recurring themes of my life. The motifs of the story of my life. Today I was greatly and deliberately humiliated when I reached out for help in a desperate attempt to save my day. Now, here I am, yet another day lost to a rage that is barely controllable. Therefor, and thankfully, I been able to retire for the day with the weight of the world on my shoulders. I would love to take this opportunity to think of all the beautiful people that make me happy, but being so far isolated from my dearest of friends, some taken from me due to my own stupidity, others still with love for me, I find it difficult to find anything to think about to cheer my mood. Except for one thing. One distant sparkle of hope.

This sparkle is in truth a raging flame that I feel will be extinguished once exposed to this deep, dark pale of anger and conflict. I’ve always found it difficult to keep those who gravitate toward me due to an elusive promise of the future. I don’t want anything or anyone to make me happy. I just want to be left alone. Left alone to rot in my own humiliation. With no one close, there will be no one to harm.